And I totally wish I didn’t.
You have no idea how beautifully torturing this is.
I like you as a human being and as something that resonates within.
You have always meant a line of questioning I am not prepared to answer.
I know I’m not only just a friend,
and I know you mean more to me than I do to you.
You make me wish I were dead.
Only then could I stop feeling such a heavy void in my head.
Still, somehow, you don’t control my death: only my life.
One I could be prepared to give you: just ask.
I may be exaggerating your impact on me; let’s just take a step back.
I’m drunk, and alone, and I wish you just gave me a chance.
Some lives are not meant to be lived as together as they could be, though.
You and I are just mirrors of what we admire outside of our identities.
It’s bizarre and, alas, a pain in the ass.
I’ll never be able to kiss you while we both smile.
Well, hey, this is my temporal line.
Whatever it will or won’t be, it won’t even last.
It’s okay, I’ll be fine. Don’t think about it twice.
I have already made up my mind: I’ll take you just as you are.
Don’t promise it, but let me hold on to an imaginary hope.
Let me think that you might -eventually- fall in love.
I want to see you happy; as happy as one might become.
Because you are the most foreign thing in my life I could call home.
[12 de junio del 2021]
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